24 Things To Do In Front Of The Buzzfeed Offices

Buzzfeed has changed the way all of us look at lists.  No longer do lists come in nice round numbers like a top ten, or the hundred best – no, lists can be of 37 things or 49 things or 17 ½ things with a bonus.  Buzzfeed listicles permeate our very existence now providing us with lists from the important to the inane to remind us how many things there can be lists of that we did not know that we absolutely needed to know (because we do.)  Here is our tribute to Buzzfeed for taking away so many productive hours from our lives, and we thank them for it.

1) Recreate the Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil Pose

Yes, it was originally done by monkeys.  But we read somewhere we are 98% the same as monkeys anyway.  We’re not sure where we read it, but it was probably on a Buzzfeed list.

Yes, it was originally done by monkeys.  But we read somewhere we are 98% the same as monkeys anyway.  We’re not sure where we read it, but it was probably on a Buzzfeed list.

2) Wait in lineIMG_0990small

They have to open up again eventually.

3) Catch some raysIMG_0982small

It’s important to never forget that hard-to-tan spot under your chin.  This system was good enough for Magda in There’s Something About Mary; it’s good enough for us too.

4) Wear hipster glassesIMG_0957Asmall

They make you look smart.  Everyone knows that.  And besides, we have it on good authority that 73% of the great minds that work at Buzzfeed wear them.  So there.

5) TailgateIMG_0969small

Who needs a sportsball match or truck?  You can tailgate with any car trunk. Don’t let drunk southern sporstball afficiandos tell you differently.

6) Take a selfie1Bsmall

So everyone else knows it really happened.

7) Take a selfie with someone taking a selfie2Bsmall

So it looks cooler and you get a second Instagram moment out of it and advertise your great eye as a photographer.

8) Take a selfie with someone taking a selfie with another person taking a selfie3

Because the selfie is the epitome of new media art.  It is post-modern and self-referential so we must all continue to attempt to take a selfie better than the Oscar selfie (which still seems like cheating, Ellen).

9) Be not famous like Shia LeBeouf1small

Shia LeBeouf removed the stigma from putting a brown bag over someone’s head that frat boys created so long ago.  We honor him for that.  And hope it gets us cast in an Indiana Jones movie.  Or at least a music video with full frontal.  Disclaimer – Shia, this is not plagiarism, it is tribute.

10) Be a hashtag activist2small

Because we all know that the perfect hashtag might not change the world, but it might actually draw dialogue and attention to an issue that truly needs awareness.  And you can wear sweat pants while you do it.  #StillOnTheCouch #Blessed #FullSentenceHashtagsAreStillFunny #THEYTOTALLYARE

11) Steal someone’s purseIMG_1027small

Because all the cool people have been arrested once for something and with jail overcrowding you would probably just get morgue probation with a Disney star in their “STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO” identity crisis phase.

12) Realize it goes better with your outfitIMG_1030small

Because the wrong purse ruins an outfit, and some people cannot be trusted with fashion choices.  And Tyra taught us that the broken doll pose ALWAYS WORKS.

13) Olivia Pope-ingIMG_0945mall

A fabulous coat, a glass of wine and a cellphone are all you need to basically run the world.  This we learned from the almighty Shonda Rhimes.  We’ll never be Kerry Washington, and when that makes us sad – there’s still the wine!

14) Recreate the most iconic moment in all of film for all of timeIMG_1051small

WHAT?! IT TOTALLY IS!!!! We Will NEVER let go!

15) Make a mistake the night beforeIMG_0974small

But ya know…Always be prepared.  (You have seventy-two hours, which is nice, because sometimes you’re still drunk the next morning and he doesn’t seem like a horrible Coyote Ugly mistake until the next, next morning.) #TheMoreYouKnow

16) Act like someone just said the funniest thing you’ve ever heardIMG_0962small

Action shots always look terrible.  No one looks good laughing, except for maybe one half-second and no one ever takes the picture in that perfect moment.  Don’t embarrass your friends by taking awful pictures of them laughing.  This shot is completely fake and frozen.  Friends don’t let friends take candids.

17) Go to the bathroomIMG_0992small

Los Angeles has entirely too many establishments that do not have public restrooms.  Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.  Or invest in those adult diapers that worked for Lisa Nowak, the astronaut kidnapper.  Or some of those Whoopi Goldberg pee pads in those commercials we always fast forward through.

18) Bring planking backIMG_0994Asmall

Planking seems really easy though, so we’re not sure what all the fuss was about in the first place.

19) Support animal printsIMG_1044small

Every year animal prints run the risk of going out of style.  We cannot just leave it up to the ladies of the Real Housewives of Everywhere to keep them in style.  It takes vigilance from all of us.

20) Direct trafficIMG_0943small

Because if you want to be an air traffic controller, being a volunteer ground traffic controller seems like the legit unpaid-intern-doing-it-for-experience version of that.

21) Start a book clubIMG_1014small

Because Oprah had one.  What other reason could you possibly need?

22) Try to remember how books work for your book clubIMG_1019small

The thing is…these “book” things seem like a serious commitment.  Do you have any idea how many tweets it would take to equal a book?  (To that one person that counted up the number of characters in a book and divided it by 140 to tell us – go outside, make a friend, wash your hair.)

23) Play in trafficIMG_1012small

Because jaywalking is totally fun.  And we’re bringing skipping back.

24) Read a Buzzfeed listIMG_1047Asmall

There is no better place on earth to enjoy the wealth of knowledge in a Buzzfeed list than standing in front of Buzzfeed.  It is the new media Mecca and we have reached the end of our social media hajj.  It’s all downhill from here, folks.

**BONUS – OR, just skip it all and go for Mexican across the street!

THANKS BUZZFEED!photo

You can stalk us.  If you want.  But don’t make it weird.  It’s totally the kind of thing we would (and do) do though.  Make it weird, we mean.

Emerson Collins: @actuallyemerson IG: emersoncollins

Stacey Oristano: @staceyoristano IG: staceyoristano

Blake McIver: @blakemciver IG: blakemciver

Guest star:  Josh Crotty: @joshcrotty45

 

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58 Responses to 24 Things To Do In Front Of The Buzzfeed Offices

  1. lisbro1 says:

    Absolutely LOVE this list, Emerson! And even though I know the laughing pic was staged, it’s still great, although that picture of you skipping IS really cute… Thanks for making my afternoon so much better! Muah!

    Like

  2. Anonymous says:

    Cool!

    Like

  3. neasha1 says:

    This was awesome!haha Hilarious guys! Great job!

    ~~Neasha

    Like

  4. L. Palmer says:

    This is a great use of the front of a Buzzfeed office. I wonder if there’s a list of buzzfeed lists to list.

    Like

  5. This is just hilarious

    Like

  6. reiblake says:

    Reblogged this on My World Without Social Media and commented:
    Buzzfeed has also revolutionize the way we look at the internet. I also say thanks buzzfeed.

    Like

  7. You’ve been to the Mecca. Have you changed spiritually inside? You should write a book about it and get on a Buzzfeed list about the book.

    Like

  8. What are you upto! So funny… Comic genius…drama queens…..good laugh…perfect…I am following you.

    Like

  9. Therese Lu says:

    This is hilarious!

    Like

  10. S. says:

    Reblogged this on I Could Settle Down and commented:
    Since buzzfeed provides us with all kinds of hilarious, silly or redundant lists of anything and everything we don’t know how to live without them. With what would we waste our time then?

    This list these guys made definitely doesn’t exist on buzzfeed! It’s great, thanks for that’s.

    Like

  11. This is wonderful, what a funny guys you are..

    Like

  12. Alok Nadem says:

    crazy guys…this is really hilarious..lol

    Like

  13. honeydipped says:

    Love you from italy 🙂 hilarious

    Like

  14. Czechpolia says:

    Bahaha! Super funny :p Can’t believe you guys took the time to do these :p 😀

    Like

  15. workmancer says:

    26: Look like douchebags.

    Like

  16. Michael says:

    I hope Buzz Feed sees this!

    Like

  17. Fighting BED says:

    So funny, great work guys!

    Like

  18. Radio Waves of the Damned says:

    LOL! This made my night. Brilliant!

    Like

  19. Very, very funny. Will have to do my research though. To find out what buzz feed is.
    Sounds like a pet food shop. I’m glad you found something to do outside it anyway. Toodooloo

    Like

  20. peasantlola says:

    Reblogged this on thoughts thunk at the speed of light and commented:
    Brilliant. & handsome.

    Like

  21. Can’t decide which is my favorite but handbag guy wins after some thought

    Like

  22. geenieknows says:

    The olivia pope homage- genius, just genius

    Like

  23. baeckerootkatherine says:

    Reblogged this on Katherine Baeckeroot and commented:
    So funny 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Mon Sheri says:

    this is perfect

    Liked by 1 person

  25. koko says:

    I love the total pointlessness of this! And the accuracy of the comments on 7 and 8, is pure hilariousness.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. furahafrydays says:

    nice pics

    Liked by 1 person

  27. bonbon78 says:

    Reblogged this on everything livia and commented:
    Funny

    Like

  28. Amazing post… I had to take a better look because I love you guys on Peoples couch! Reading this post made my rainy Thursday into a well worth stay in and read day. Love!

    Like

  29. Tina says:

    This is hilarious! Oh and Blake? Totally recognized you from Full House. You must get that a lot. Sorry.. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  30. smartyvenra says:

    Reblogged this on An Epic Poem and commented:
    Oh gosh so funny!! Lists are beast!

    Like

  31. Reblogged this on Keegan Stringer and commented:
    this is really funny and awesome

    Like

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