Buzzfeed has changed the way all of us look at lists. No longer do lists come in nice round numbers like a top ten, or the hundred best – no, lists can be of 37 things or 49 things or 17 ½ things with a bonus. Buzzfeed listicles permeate our very existence now providing us with lists from the important to the inane to remind us how many things there can be lists of that we did not know that we absolutely needed to know (because we do.) Here is our tribute to Buzzfeed for taking away so many productive hours from our lives, and we thank them for it.
1) Recreate the Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil Pose
Yes, it was originally done by monkeys. But we read somewhere we are 98% the same as monkeys anyway. We’re not sure where we read it, but it was probably on a Buzzfeed list.
They have to open up again eventually.
It’s important to never forget that hard-to-tan spot under your chin. This system was good enough for Magda in There’s Something About Mary; it’s good enough for us too.
They make you look smart. Everyone knows that. And besides, we have it on good authority that 73% of the great minds that work at Buzzfeed wear them. So there.
Who needs a sportsball match or truck? You can tailgate with any car trunk. Don’t let drunk southern sporstball afficiandos tell you differently.
So everyone else knows it really happened.
7) Take a selfie with someone taking a selfie
So it looks cooler and you get a second Instagram moment out of it and advertise your great eye as a photographer.
8) Take a selfie with someone taking a selfie with another person taking a selfie
Because the selfie is the epitome of new media art. It is post-modern and self-referential so we must all continue to attempt to take a selfie better than the Oscar selfie (which still seems like cheating, Ellen).
9) Be not famous like Shia LeBeouf
Shia LeBeouf removed the stigma from putting a brown bag over someone’s head that frat boys created so long ago. We honor him for that. And hope it gets us cast in an Indiana Jones movie. Or at least a music video with full frontal. Disclaimer – Shia, this is not plagiarism, it is tribute.
Because we all know that the perfect hashtag might not change the world, but it might actually draw dialogue and attention to an issue that truly needs awareness. And you can wear sweat pants while you do it. #StillOnTheCouch #Blessed #FullSentenceHashtagsAreStillFunny #THEYTOTALLYARE
Because all the cool people have been arrested once for something and with jail overcrowding you would probably just get morgue probation with a Disney star in their “STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO” identity crisis phase.
12) Realize it goes better with your outfit
Because the wrong purse ruins an outfit, and some people cannot be trusted with fashion choices. And Tyra taught us that the broken doll pose ALWAYS WORKS.
A fabulous coat, a glass of wine and a cellphone are all you need to basically run the world. This we learned from the almighty Shonda Rhimes. We’ll never be Kerry Washington, and when that makes us sad – there’s still the wine!
14) Recreate the most iconic moment in all of film for all of time
WHAT?! IT TOTALLY IS!!!! We Will NEVER let go!
15) Make a mistake the night before
But ya know…Always be prepared. (You have seventy-two hours, which is nice, because sometimes you’re still drunk the next morning and he doesn’t seem like a horrible Coyote Ugly mistake until the next, next morning.) #TheMoreYouKnow
16) Act like someone just said the funniest thing you’ve ever heard
Action shots always look terrible. No one looks good laughing, except for maybe one half-second and no one ever takes the picture in that perfect moment. Don’t embarrass your friends by taking awful pictures of them laughing. This shot is completely fake and frozen. Friends don’t let friends take candids.
Los Angeles has entirely too many establishments that do not have public restrooms. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Or invest in those adult diapers that worked for Lisa Nowak, the astronaut kidnapper. Or some of those Whoopi Goldberg pee pads in those commercials we always fast forward through.
Planking seems really easy though, so we’re not sure what all the fuss was about in the first place.
Every year animal prints run the risk of going out of style. We cannot just leave it up to the ladies of the Real Housewives of Everywhere to keep them in style. It takes vigilance from all of us.
Because if you want to be an air traffic controller, being a volunteer ground traffic controller seems like the legit unpaid-intern-doing-it-for-experience version of that.
Because Oprah had one. What other reason could you possibly need?
22) Try to remember how books work for your book club
The thing is…these “book” things seem like a serious commitment. Do you have any idea how many tweets it would take to equal a book? (To that one person that counted up the number of characters in a book and divided it by 140 to tell us – go outside, make a friend, wash your hair.)
Because jaywalking is totally fun. And we’re bringing skipping back.
There is no better place on earth to enjoy the wealth of knowledge in a Buzzfeed list than standing in front of Buzzfeed. It is the new media Mecca and we have reached the end of our social media hajj. It’s all downhill from here, folks.
**BONUS – OR, just skip it all and go for Mexican across the street!
You can stalk us. If you want. But don’t make it weird. It’s totally the kind of thing we would (and do) do though. Make it weird, we mean.
Emerson Collins: @actuallyemerson IG: emersoncollins
Stacey Oristano: @staceyoristano IG: staceyoristano
Blake McIver: @blakemciver IG: blakemciver
Guest star: Josh Crotty: @joshcrotty45
Absolutely LOVE this list, Emerson! And even though I know the laughing pic was staged, it’s still great, although that picture of you skipping IS really cute… Thanks for making my afternoon so much better! Muah!
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Cool!
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Reblogged this on asikomugalo.
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This was awesome!haha Hilarious guys! Great job!
~~Neasha
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thanks so much 🙂
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This is a great use of the front of a Buzzfeed office. I wonder if there’s a list of buzzfeed lists to list.
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bwahahaha – social media meta spiral!!
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Moi like 😀
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This is just hilarious
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🙂
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I just realized how amazing it is that the internet allows faces to be considered legitimate responses to comments. I must try this in regular life.
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Reblogged this on My World Without Social Media and commented:
Buzzfeed has also revolutionize the way we look at the internet. I also say thanks buzzfeed.
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You’ve been to the Mecca. Have you changed spiritually inside? You should write a book about it and get on a Buzzfeed list about the book.
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It was the most meta social media religious experience of my life :p
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What are you upto! So funny… Comic genius…drama queens…..good laugh…perfect…I am following you.
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Awww thanks!!! This is what happens when I have too much free time 🙂
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God give you more free time ….
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This is hilarious!
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Thanks!! 🙂 We’re ridiculous!
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Reblogged this on I Could Settle Down and commented:
Since buzzfeed provides us with all kinds of hilarious, silly or redundant lists of anything and everything we don’t know how to live without them. With what would we waste our time then?
This list these guys made definitely doesn’t exist on buzzfeed! It’s great, thanks for that’s.
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This is wonderful, what a funny guys you are..
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crazy guys…this is really hilarious..lol
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Love you from italy 🙂 hilarious
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Crazy list. HAHAHA
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Bahaha! Super funny :p Can’t believe you guys took the time to do these :p 😀
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This is what happens with too much free time 🙂
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26: Look like douchebags.
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Seems like a lot of work to bother to take the time to say you didn’t like it.
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Yeah it took a lot of work. Sorry I couldn’t stand in front of the office with 2 friends to take pictures. I’m shocked you didn’t point out that it should be #25 not 26.
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I hope Buzz Feed sees this!
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🙂
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So funny, great work guys!
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thank you!!
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LOL! This made my night. Brilliant!
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Very, very funny. Will have to do my research though. To find out what buzz feed is.
Sounds like a pet food shop. I’m glad you found something to do outside it anyway. Toodooloo
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Reblogged this on thoughts thunk at the speed of light and commented:
Brilliant. & handsome.
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Can’t decide which is my favorite but handbag guy wins after some thought
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The olivia pope homage- genius, just genius
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It is my personal favorite 🙂
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Reblogged this on Katherine Baeckeroot and commented:
So funny 🙂
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this is perfect
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Reblogged this on Express Yourself Here.
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Reblogged this on smallbloomshloo.
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I love the total pointlessness of this! And the accuracy of the comments on 7 and 8, is pure hilariousness.
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I get in trouble with free time 🙂
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nice pics
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Reblogged this on everything livia and commented:
Funny
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Amazing post… I had to take a better look because I love you guys on Peoples couch! Reading this post made my rainy Thursday into a well worth stay in and read day. Love!
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So glad you enjoyed our silliness!
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Ugh hello not silliness it’s wonderfulness yall have made my night
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Reblogged this on beautyinasnap123.
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This is hilarious! Oh and Blake? Totally recognized you from Full House. You must get that a lot. Sorry.. 😀
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🙂 he enjoys it!
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Reblogged this on Apps Lotus's Blog.
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Reblogged this on Karma's little spanker.
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Reblogged this on An Epic Poem and commented:
Oh gosh so funny!! Lists are beast!
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Reblogged this on Keegan Stringer and commented:
this is really funny and awesome
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# Awesome i love this
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